-Long Silver’s (longjohnslvrs), via twitter.
That’s what she said, Long John Silvers.
-ChuckLidell, via twitter)
How else does one of the worlds most dangerous men keep his edge? Entourage bitch.
But how does one of the worlds most dangerous men keep in shape??
“follow atrebunskaya my dance partner and don’t forget to vote for both of us tomorrow night. good night evryone”
Ballroom dancing, bitch.
“What if when you took an animal to the vet, the vet was the same species as the animal you were taking?”
-John Mayer (JohnCMayer), via Twitter.
Your brain is not a wonderland.
“Lmfaoooooooo I just caught one of my teammates in a spanx lmfaooooo ahhhh mann . He saw me and was like WHAT UP u straight, lmfao to funny.”
-Darnell Dockett (Ddockett) via Twitter.
Pro football is a stressful job, that’s why it’s good to have a good sense of humour. If anybody knows where Darnell Dockett could find one that works, let him know.
“The only positive to Swayzes passing is that he and Farley can now reinact the funniest skit in SNL history in heaven…”
-Chris Jericho (IAMJERICHO), via Twitter.
If the afterlife is just one big SNL skit, Jimmy Fallon better hope he lives forever.
“I’m twittering in my backyard in the hot tub looking at all my pets 5 pitbulls and a family of 6 dears.”
-Chris Johnson (ChrisJohnson28), via twitter.
NFL player living the high life, owns multiple pit bulls….Think i’ve heard this one before….
“Would somebody tell the camera man to get out my way when im doing the lightsOut dance i almost knocked him over.”
-Shawne Merriman (Shawnemerriman), via twitter.
San Diego linebacker Shawne Merriman complaining about a lack of space for celebrations.
Merriman’s stats this year:
Solo Tackles: 3
MTV Reality TV stars allegedly choked: 1
“Never laughed at Leno in my life. Gotta be a white ppl thing like khakis, Charlie Sheen, and treatin animals like they people. SMH.”
-Ron Artest via Twitter.
“Obama is appointing Czars. Just like the Russians had. Do we need any more proof that he is a communist?”
-God_Guts_Guns via Twitter. Get Err Dunnnnnnnnn