November 2009
1 post
Hi Cruz hahaha (it’s an inside joke)
Chuck Lidell (Chucklidell) via twitter.
I hope I’m part of an inside joke some day, that, sounds hilarious.
October 2009
9 posts
Tonight was incredible! Had the best time! Talked with Bono before he went onstage, he is such an amazing man, i look up to him so much. :)
Paris Hilton via Twitter.
ROCK AND ROLL
Have any of yall ever ate SPAM, or a mayo sandwich or how about potted meat, or syrup sandwich,#iadmit I have ate them all and u?
ddockett (Darnell Docket) via twitter
Darnell Docket is a man desperate for two things ; Twitter infamy to the level of Ocho Cinco, and diarrhea.
I wanted to tell my mom when I grow up I wanna be a roach cause they roll deep and pay no bills and do what they want. And they can FLY
The roaches we had took over house, they ate what they want, got in the refridge, talk back, took showers and wore our clothes TRUE Story
How manyof yall had roaches or still have roaches?We had so many in my house they took ovr I had the floor they had the bd,...
RiversCuomo How could you not like Coldplay?
RiversCuomo (Rivers Cuomo) via Twitter.
Lost…for….words…..off to put “Clocks” on and slip into a coma.
"OGOchoCinco Dis tweet is brought 2 u by Ocho...
RT @Kproveaux: @OGOchoCinco.. i went to go buy some occ’s (ocho cinco condoms) and they said i had to be at least12 inches<-read small print
OGOchoCinco Ocho Cinco condoms work 85% of the time, every time.
OGOchoCinco #yournotdaonly1 if she tells u she’s not that type of girl but has a drawer full of Ocho Cinco condoms!
- OGOchoCinco (Chad Ocho Cinco), via Twitter
If a jokes...
4 tags
"@littlebamaguy How'd you like the Baja Fish...
-Long Silver’s (longjohnslvrs), via twitter.
That’s what she said, Long John Silvers.
"That's to funny. People definetly crack me up...
-Kawika Mitchell (Ka_Mitchell55), via twitter. The guys full name is Kiwanuka Mitchell, which I assume (bravely) that he can spell that, but yet he can’t spell “definitely”. That spelling mistake is the 33rd worst thing about this post. Number 1 thing twitter has taught me: Percentage of NFL players who know the difference between two, to and too? Or their, there and...
5 tags
"this entourage episode is so good, piven is great...
-ChuckLidell, via twitter)
How else does one of the worlds most dangerous men keep his edge? Entourage bitch.
But how does one of the worlds most dangerous men keep in shape??
“follow atrebunskaya my dance partner and don’t forget to vote for both of us tomorrow night. good night evryone”
Ballroom dancing, bitch.
"can only use twitter from my phone here in china...
-Andy Roddick (AndyRoddick), via twitter
Well if you’re in China free internet roaming really is what you should expect.
September 2009
21 posts
"Why I Love Twitter Reason #652: You can get baked...
- Kevin Smith(@ThatKEvinSmith), via Twitter
This was a 6 part tweet that might go down as one of the greatest ever.
3 tags
"Esteban out, special prayer for you all as I...
- OGOchoCinco (Ocho Cinco a.k.a. Chad Johnson a.k.a Esteban), via Twitter
God works in mysterious ways, to the the self proclaimed black Mexican, Esteban, he gave 184,000 followers. To Mexico, he gave the swine flu pandemic.
"we're not the UFC. it's not real! I can beat up a...
- Chavo Guerrero (Mexwarrior), via twitter
WWE wrestler Chavo Guererro, gets a bit defensive and flips out at fans after being made to lose to a midget every week on television! The incredibly bland mid-card latino jobber doth protest too much.
@shawnemerriman Challenge: me and you 8 round boxing match superbowl weekend in Miami before my team plays, I’ll Mayweather you all 8 rnds!!
@shawnemerriman I’ll break yo jaw son„, after you get yo mouth wired change yo name to ugly Betty!!!
@shawnemerriman man kiss da baby<—-if da baby don’t kiss back <—-baby is basically telling u child...
4 tags
"What if when you took an animal to the vet, the...
-John Mayer (JohnCMayer), via Twitter.
Your brain is not a wonderland.
4 tags
"Lmfaoooooooo I just caught one of my teammates in...
-Darnell Dockett (Ddockett) via Twitter.
Pro football is a stressful job, that’s why it’s good to have a good sense of humour. If anybody knows where Darnell Dockett could find one that works, let him know.
6 tags
"The only positive to Swayzes passing is that he...
-Chris Jericho (IAMJERICHO), via Twitter.
If the afterlife is just one big SNL skit, Jimmy Fallon better hope he lives forever.
4 tags
"I'm twittering in my backyard in the hot tub...
-Chris Johnson (ChrisJohnson28), via twitter.
NFL player living the high life, owns multiple pit bulls….Think i’ve heard this one before….
4 tags
"Can't wait to see Man U fans spin this one. RT...
-Bill Simmons (Sportsguy33), via twitter.
Bill Simmons expressing anguish at Manchester United for getting favourable treatment from Refs during the Manchester derby.
It must suck when a big team unfairly gets the rub of the green.
COUGH TUCK RULE COUGH
COUGH SPYGATE COUGH
4 tags
"Would somebody tell the camera man to get out my...
-Shawne Merriman (Shawnemerriman), via twitter.
San Diego linebacker Shawne Merriman complaining about a lack of space for celebrations.
Merriman’s stats this year:
Solo Tackles: 3
Interceptions: 0
Sacks: 0
MTV Reality TV stars allegedly choked: 1
5 tags
"@BarackObama Is there anyway I can borrow...
@BarackObama since I can’t get a break on my taxes can I least have your followers, my name is Ocho Cinco and I approve this mesage :)
@BarackObama don’t mean to be a bother but can you attend the game against the bears please, I’ll invite through my celebration this week :)
@BarackObama you’ll have company, Denzel will be there to, thank you and don’t say no...
4 tags
"Never laughed at Leno in my life. Gotta be a...
-Ron Artest via Twitter.
"New slogan for bagels: The breakfast food you can...
-Michael Ian Black, via Twitter.
4 tags
"Obama is appointing Czars. Just like the Russians...
-God_Guts_Guns via Twitter. Get Err Dunnnnnnnnn
6 tags
"Lady Gaga looks like something that fell outta...
-Ron Artest, via twitter watching lady Gaga at the VMA’s.
“RT@pink Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me. (whateva u...”
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Ron Artest Via Twitter, in response to Pink’s comments following Kayne’s outburst (the most recent one) at the VMA’s. Pink tweeted “Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me.” Ron did. The “man-shoulders” remark was only the tip of the...
5 tags
“Just finished practice with anna. Now I’m headed to irvine to see...”
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UFC FIghter Chuck “the Ice Man” Lidell via twitter. How does one of the world’s most dangerous men keep his edge? 2 words: NIckelback bitch.
5 tags
“Porn gets a bad rap. It’s essentially Discovery Channel for humans. I know I’VE...”
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Chris “Birdman Anderson” via Twitter.
5 tags
“#shaqfacts dude’s got special apps for his iphone that shows him where the Lane...”
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Ron Artest Via Twitter. For those who have never been to Lane Bryant, it is a clothing store for curvy women (i.e. fat chicks).
5 tags
“I bet Richard Jefferson is wildin’ out to this Glee sh!t.”
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Ron Artest Via Twitter. Translation: Richard Jefferson is a poof.
4 tags
“God Chose Memphis as the place that I will continue my career. I met with Mr....”
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Allen Iverson via twitter. 